The Online Troll.. An Intro
The online troll often lurks behind an ambiguous Facebook profile, sometimes on a rampage, to share their dislikes and emotional reds.
They aren't the result of technology so much - humans have been cancelling each other since the ancient times, but certainly online has amplified what already was.
They aren't the result of technology so much - humans have been cancelling each other since the ancient times, but certainly online has amplified what already was.
During the ad agency days, when we would onboard new clients, we would tell them that trolls just shouldn't be taken to heart, they were just part of the online ecosystem.
But of course, easier said than done....
I've encountered my fair share of hateful comments in my career, some so sharp they almost made me close up shop.
I've encountered my fair share of hateful comments in my career, some so sharp they almost made me close up shop.
Here’s a technique I use to help diffuse a troll with my self confidence intact, and reduce how many I attract.
How to Respond With the Mirror Green
Firstly, try not to respond to a troll from a red emotional state (eg: when you’re angry or feeling attacked), this will only spread the fire. Emotions are contagious and spread between each other (especially if you are empathetic), reds loop you into more reds, so just take some time away before responding if you're seeing red. Wait until you yourself feel calm and collected.
Step 1 
identify the red emotional state the troll has come at you from (eg: argumentative, angry, insecure). Because emotions are contagious (vibrations we sync to), you can also identify this simply by looking at the red emotional state you experienced through the interaction (eg: insulted, defensive, insecure).
identify the red emotional state the troll has come at you from (eg: argumentative, angry, insecure). Because emotions are contagious (vibrations we sync to), you can also identify this simply by looking at the red emotional state you experienced through the interaction (eg: insulted, defensive, insecure). Step 2 identify the polar opposite emotional state of the red(s). This is the green, essentially what they desire/ are currently lacking.
identify the polar opposite emotional state of the red(s). This is the green, essentially what they desire/ are currently lacking.For example,
If they are argumentative, they desire agreement
If they are jealous, they desire inspiration
If they are insecure, they desire confidence
If they are angry, they desire empathy
If they are angry, they desire empathy
Step 3 Understand that this person is in a tension point of their lives where there exists a dissonance between their current reality and what they desire for themselves (the green), so pain causes them to lash out. Nothing they say is actually really ever about you, you have just triggered this dissonance within themselves. But this is as much an opportunity of growth for them as it is for you.
Understand that this person is in a tension point of their lives where there exists a dissonance between their current reality and what they desire for themselves (the green), so pain causes them to lash out. Nothing they say is actually really ever about you, you have just triggered this dissonance within themselves. But this is as much an opportunity of growth for them as it is for you. Once you have a perspective of genuine empathy for the human you are addressing, simply respond using the greens you identified they want.
Sometimes this can look quite literal:
Eg: “You’re right” /or "you do you"(agreement), I use this one alot for when people start trying get into arguments, they usually don’t have much to say back to this one, it stops it in its track.
“I admire your courage to write this, I now feel inspired.” (inspired/confidence)
"This must have been a difficult experience for you, I can understand where you're coming from." (empathy)
When we give a person who feels disconnection to a green they aspire to (in this case, by literally writing it down), we diffuse the red and prevent ourselves from getting looped into it (emotions are spread between us).
This has really helped me find the humor and lighter perspective towards trolls.
When I see them as humans who are feeling disconnected from a green, and an opportunity for me to connect them to it without shoving ideologies down their throat, trying to convince them, or arguing with them. Then the whole thing becomes an exercise of growth for both parties involved.
When I see them as humans who are feeling disconnected from a green, and an opportunity for me to connect them to it without shoving ideologies down their throat, trying to convince them, or arguing with them. Then the whole thing becomes an exercise of growth for both parties involved.
Conclusion
We may not always be able to control others or their perspectives of us, nor ever create a completely "troll-free" world, but we retain sovereignty throughout on how we choose to react to such triggers.
Respond in a cool-calm collected way, without warring, and you demonstrate maturity and self-confidence, which is highly magnetic to others. It becomes a portal of growth for your business.
Remember, don’t take advice or commentary to heart from anyone who isn’t giving it from a space of love (green) and demonstrating the values you also uphold or aspire to.
If it feels like you're being bullied, know this is merely an initiation into the alchemy of self confidence. The only true way to stop the cycle of the bully is to diffuse it with its polar of love.
I hope this serves you well.
To learn more about red/greens in Magic Source Codes)
